Underneath it All

Here is my precious family.  When I look at this picture I am quite convinced that I have everything a girl could ever hope for.  So why have I been so focused on how I look during my "Forty Days of Fabulous?"  Why does it matter?  I have asked myself this question over and over throughout my life: “Does it matter how I look?” This question brings to mind a quote from the Jim Carrey movie, "Liar Liar."  The little boy looks up innocently at his father and states, "My teacher says that beauty is on the inside," Jim Carrey responds, "Yeah that's just what ugly people say."   

In the end, beauty, goodness, kindness, and worth truly come from inside.  When I am 90-years-old, on my deathbed, I probably won't be too concerned that my purple bouffant looks a little lopsided or that I had to roll my bosoms into my bra earlier that morning--I will be content that I led a good life, lived how I believed, and was surrounded by the people I loved most.

But...

I also believe that how you look on the outside can be a reflection of how you feel about yourself on the inside.  At least I know this is true for me.  When I am lonely, tired, feeling like a fatty, or like I just don't measure up to all the "perfect" moms in the world, I allow myself to look sloppy.  I guess it's sort of a weird self-punishment.  I tell myself, "I don't deserve to look beautiful, so why try."  I started this "Fabulous" program as a way of proving to myself that I do, in fact, deserve to look beautiful.  It's a kind of self-improvement therapy starting from the outside, moving inward.   I’m becoming beautiful on the outside AND inside…like a Kardashian.